Wanting stuff
Wanting stuff.
I'm not a particularly materialistic bloke. I don't think that I am overly concerned with possessions as indicators of status, nor do I collect things (apart from too many cheap bicycles).
I've only once bought a new car, and I'm happy buying clothes from charity shops. As I write this, I'm listening to music from a 30-year old stereo.
As a result, and partly because I have generally held decent jobs, I have never before felt that there is anything material that I want, but can't have. Even as a student I didn't feel poor, in spite of living in a dump and drinking halves.
But now, for the first time, I do want things that I cannot afford. It doesn't help that I'm unemployed at present. Nor that my past employers are witholding monies that I'm due. But really, that's irrelevant because my major wants are total luxuries. One is just out of my price range; to afford it, I would have needed to be career-minded and money-oriented for most of my life. And the other "want" would require time as well as money. Since I need to be here to look for work, that's out of the question anyway.
But - wanting stuff I can't have is a new and rather unpleasant sensation. The realisation that for the first time I can't have the luxuries that I want is worse, a sort of second-level deprivation. Even if there is no real deprivation at all.
And what are these luxuries I crave? A swimming pond - a semi-natural swimming pool, that would require an appropriately huge house and garden to contain it. And a holiday with a particular friend. To be honest, I will get the first in early May when the Lake opens for swimming, so forget that one. Which leaves the latter. In turn, as a household we could afford that financially, but whether I would live for long afterwards is a totally different matter. Time to find a job and to do some negotiation
I'm not a particularly materialistic bloke. I don't think that I am overly concerned with possessions as indicators of status, nor do I collect things (apart from too many cheap bicycles).
I've only once bought a new car, and I'm happy buying clothes from charity shops. As I write this, I'm listening to music from a 30-year old stereo.
As a result, and partly because I have generally held decent jobs, I have never before felt that there is anything material that I want, but can't have. Even as a student I didn't feel poor, in spite of living in a dump and drinking halves.
But now, for the first time, I do want things that I cannot afford. It doesn't help that I'm unemployed at present. Nor that my past employers are witholding monies that I'm due. But really, that's irrelevant because my major wants are total luxuries. One is just out of my price range; to afford it, I would have needed to be career-minded and money-oriented for most of my life. And the other "want" would require time as well as money. Since I need to be here to look for work, that's out of the question anyway.
But - wanting stuff I can't have is a new and rather unpleasant sensation. The realisation that for the first time I can't have the luxuries that I want is worse, a sort of second-level deprivation. Even if there is no real deprivation at all.
And what are these luxuries I crave? A swimming pond - a semi-natural swimming pool, that would require an appropriately huge house and garden to contain it. And a holiday with a particular friend. To be honest, I will get the first in early May when the Lake opens for swimming, so forget that one. Which leaves the latter. In turn, as a household we could afford that financially, but whether I would live for long afterwards is a totally different matter. Time to find a job and to do some negotiation
posted by Moses at
9:42 pm
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