Heroes

I've never really had any heroes, people to whom I look up, people that I'd like to be.
I never wanted to be the astronaut or the rock star and was content to run in my own shallow groove in my own direction. I've met plenty of people who are richer and more successful than myself and not felt envious as they all seem to have empty areas in their lives, and in most respects I consider myself as well off as they are in the areas that matter.

For some reason, I've recently been feeling dissatisfied with my life and a little aspirational. Perhaps it's the recurring job insecurity that I suffer from, the feeling that time to DO stuff is running out. It is, of course, but not as fast as I worry about at night.

So I was surprised at my reaction at the Alabama 3 gig a couple of weeks ago. I was watching the lead singer, Rob / Larry on stage: slender, greying, smart suit, shades, just looking cool in front of a crowd of hundreds. And I just thought, I would like to be that man. It helps that he has a rich deep growl of a voice, too.

Then at my first climbing lesson I watched as another grey-haired man, a few years younger than me but skinny and wiry, swung himself up some improbable section of "rock" face, his legs splayed widely apart in a way that mine could never manage and his fingers gripping a hold that my stubby digits would have peeled off immediately. I thought, I want to be able to do that.
I know that it's unlikely I will ever be that good, but I could at least learn something, and it would help if I lost the 8kg I've put on since my illness of 2003 , but that is something that I can aim for and aspire to. There's not much chance of my being a rock star, though.

:0/